A friend of mine and I were discussing the unpredictable challenge of raising kids. What’s the right way, the wrong way, strict, stricter, or free reign? Who really knows, you can study many different cultures and families, and you’ll get different results from every walk of life.
One individual gets wrapped up in environment and circumstances and becomes a part of the State penitentiary system, while the other has corporate level professional success. You ask, do I beat the hell out of my kid at the first sign of attempting drugs, or some moral unjustifiable act, or do I simply use demobilization punishment and restrict all communication devices which these days hurt just as worse for the younger generation. One thing for sure, there is no guaranteed right or wrong answer and the other thing is that most of us inherit the beliefs and habits of our parents anyway.
This is what you call a paradigm, which is a multitude of inherited habits, but the problem is, that sometimes we inherit the bad habits and cultural beliefs that can be just as devastating.
What I’ve learned are two important things when raising kids, one is stepping outside the box of pre-determined beliefs of your parents paradigms and think for yourself. Just because your ass got beat, and you turned out ok, that may not always be the best solution. Just like slavery, physical abuse and intimidation will only work temporarily. You must seek the best possible discipline option to persuade your message to your kids that best suit you in today’s millennium.
The second thing is you must understand the psychological power of self-image and self-esteem. Your words as an authority parent figure are powerful as when god said, let there be light. If you constantly convey to your children, “You’re trash, dumb, stupid, gay, weak, and will never amount to anything” this will become the new image of themselves that you’ve mentally installed, and it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Remember, your words have power, so you must always be conscious of the positive message you convey to your kids, “you’re very intelligent, you’re an over-achiever, you’re a princess, a prince” and once again, the valuable confidence installed will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This is how the leaders of the world are molded, they are confident and don’t settle for anything less than great. Remember just as you program your kids, you also have the ability to program yourself, and become anybody you want. You ever hear you are your own worst enemy and critic, but also your biggest fan.
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